


Delayed Arrival

by EmotionsofInk



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, friendship between the teams is my guilty pleasure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-18 23:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12398877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmotionsofInk/pseuds/EmotionsofInk
Summary: Incorrect paperwork and miscommunication lead the team to believe that they have lost someone the feel incomplete without. While thousands of miles away, Jensen is doing all he can to make his way home...





	Delayed Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> This was cross-posted to Tumblr as well, but I thought I would share it here too - so I finally made an account haha.

#### Day One - Three AM

“Fuck, why did his flight have to come in at such a ridiculous time of the morning?” Zach wrapped his arms around his shoulders and tried his best to stop yawning. “It’s too early to be out of bed on a Saturday.”

“You didn’t have to come Sneaks.”

“Perish the thought, I have had to ordeal six weeks without this monkey, I want as many seconds as I can to whine at him at how boring it’s been without him and how dare he go on a holiday without m- us.”

There were numerous eyerolls from the team at this, and a muttered just loud enough for Zach to hear.

“You just need to admit it already.”

“Admit what?” Zach’s sheepish grin was enough for anyone to know he knew actually what Impact was talking about. He just wasn’t going to admit it - not now, not probably ever, because that was only due to fail.

“Whatever man, come out we have to get the gate.” Shaking his head Jack consulted the piece of paper one final time before leading his team off to the gate where there missing mid laner should be arriving any minute. The whole team didn’t have to come by any means, yet they were here anyway. Jack wasn’t too sure if he was expecting anything less.

The gate was busy as expected, people were milling about in groups, looking confused and iriarte. The plane, which should have already landed was nowhere in sight. Airport security lined the gate, personal and important looking people in suits stood with them.

“What in the world is going on?” Ever the productive one, it was Andy that made his way through the crowds towards the security and the staff, looking a little despondent at seeing how serious they all looked. “Excuse me, could you let me know what is happening here?”

“Are you waiting for a passenger from Flight DN72 direct from Copenhagen?”

“Of course, that is why we are here.”

“There are others with you?”

“Yes, just over there-” Andy made hand motions towards where the rest of the team were, some of them waving back and giving him looks of confusion. “Our friend was on the flight, he’d been in Denmark visiting family, has something happened?”

“Please go stand with your other friends, a member of staff will come speak to your directly soon.”

That did not sound good. Airline staff did not just go out of their way to speak to people individually, if it was something simple, like a delay of time or a grounding due to weather they would just announce it generally. They wouldn't need all this security, they wouldn’t need to be so… tense. Something was certainly wrong, Andy could sense it, and he didn’t like it.

“So - what’s going on?”

“Someone is going to come and speak to us directly, I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Directly - why would they even….”

The sentence, and any other conversations were suddenly cut out by a loud, painful wail. Nearer the gate an older women had fallen to her knees, clutching onto her chest as she screamed and cried. A member of the airport security knelt down beside her, a steady and firm hand on her shoulder. All around them, people were having the same reactions.

“Excuse me, you are all here for a passenger on the Copenhagen flight.”

All they could do was wordlessly nod, perhaps realizing what news was about to come.

“I am sorry, there is no easy way to tell you this, an hour ago we lost contact with the flight. A short time ago the wreckage was found, at this stage, there looks to be no survivors-”

At this point the conversation trailed off for most of them. Jack pushed his way forward, somehow blocking out the scream running through his head to pull the attendant away to talk to him away from his team. They didn’t need to know details, they didn’t need to hear a monotone voice that sounded like a voice recorder.

Behind him, Jack could hear, and even sense the team breaking - slowly, one by one as the barriers all shattered. The stubborn want to be the one to hold it together wasn’t enough. He could hear the whispers, shocked, confused, the refusal and denial of something like this happening. But then the whispers turned to silence, the silence turned to choking sobs of pain.

He turned away from the attendant and back to his team in time to see Zach completely crack. Collapsing to the ground with Andy’s arms wrapped around him in some attempt of comfort as Zach broke down, gripping Andy so hard his knuckles were white, sobbing so much his whole body shock.

“No… no, this can’t be - this can’t be happening, I - no… no…”

Four and a half thousand miles away, oblivious to what was happening back home, Jensen slept restlessly across a couch in the Copenhagen Airport, his bag haphazardly thrown on the floor in front of him, his phone flashing in and out of brightness on top of it.

_‘Stupid airline mucked up my flight and gave someone else my ticket - trying to figure out how to get home. Might be a few more days, don’t try to miss me too much xox’ ___

__The message sending continued to load, spiraling quicker and quicker as the phone continued to flicker. It gave one final burst of light, the whole screen filling with static before finally turning off. The text, although marked as sent on the phone, was completely lost. It did not reach it’s destination._ _

#### Day One - Nine AM

__He didn’t even get why he always took so much stuff with him when he went back home for the holidays. Unpacking was the worst thing to him imaginable and yet he did it to himself every six months. Finally he was unpacked though, it had only taken him a solid three days. It was good to back however, somehow this house was beginning to feel a lot more like home than his parents place ever could._ _

__It was still two weeks before the split started too, which meant he had plenty of time to catch up with his team mates. And play some solo que, in fact it would be a good time to finally get some streaming in - he had missed that while he had been on holiday._ _

__“Morning Vince.”_ _

__It came to no surprise to the mid laner that the support was already up - it normally was just the two of them in the earlier morning. He didn’t expect to see the rest of the team for another hour at least, maybe more seeming they had no schedule to keep._ _

__“Bjerg!” He was greeted with a warm smile, Vincent came barreling over to him, phone in hand and a look of concentration on his face. “Did you see this - I had a mild panic attack when I did but then I was all, wait you’re already home - it’s all good.”_ _

__With a small confused frown, Soren looked down at the headline Vincent had up on his phone, something in him kind of broke as he drew in a sharp breath. At first it had just seemed like a normal, if not horrid, article about a plane crash, but then he read the details, the airline the flight had been with, where it had come from, it’s destination._ _

__“You and Dennis flew with that same airline right? Scary.”_ _

__“Vince…” Soren’s voice cracked, his words felt so heavy as they left his mouth. “We’re not the only ones that were returning home this week…” Taking a deep breath he looked over at Vincent who had just frozen, all happiness and light-heartedness gone, replaced by a look of someone that wanted to throw up. “There was a reason why the start of split party they invited us to was tonight…”_ _

__Suddenly very, very pale Vincent’s voice was stretched as he tried his best to sound optimistic. “It doesn’t mean he was on that flight…”_ _

__“There’s only the one - I… I could be wrong but can I?” Soren shook his head. “If I call them what the hell do I say?”_ _

__“I don’t think you’ll need to say anything, if any of them even answer their phone - you’ll just know.”_ _

__He never imagined, in his even worst nightmare that this would be a call he would have to make. He didn’t even know WHO to call at first, because if this was true they would probably be all a mess. Zach was most certainly out of the question, and he didn’t really think the other team members would be even better. In the end he found himself dialing Jack’s number. Not because he thought he wouldn’t be upset, he just probably was the one keeping it the most together at this stage._ _

__Soren didn’t even need to ask, Jack answered him straight away._ _

__“You saw the news…”_ _

__“I - fuck we did. I thought, I hoped I had remembered wrong.”_ _

__“No… no you remembered right.”_ _

__“I…. are you guys home?”_ _

__“What yes we-”_ _

__“We’re coming over.”_ _

__“We - Soren you don’t need to.”_ _

__“Yes I do, yes we do - you guys need people now, and we’re going to be it.”_ _

__“I don’t think I-”_ _

__“No arguments, I’m coming - and I’m bringing the team with me - see you soon.”_ _

__He wasn’t taking no for an answer, as much as hearing the news had rocked and completely shattered him Soren knew at this time they needed some sort of rock, some sort of strength to hold onto. He could be, his team could be that - until they had time, until they somehow managed. Soren could grieve his own way for his friend later, once he helped them._ _

__“I’ll get the team up.” Vincent had heard all he needed from Soren’s end of the phone call. His mid laner was right, there was something they could do to help right now and they would do it. If if that it was as simple as just being there - it was something - and they will do it with gusto. “Met you out front in five.”_ _

__Normally getting the whole of TSM up in five minutes was a stupid and the notion of it actually happening was laughable.. This morning, however was different, Soren soon found himself in the team’s van, packed with tired, shocked, team members on the way to the C9 team house._ _

__They got there quicker than normally, no one mentioned that they probably broke a few speeding limits on their way - no one cared at this point. The quicker they got there the all better for it. When they did get there however, an odd feeling overcame them as they seemed to walk up to the door in a thick fog of confusion._ _

__What did they say? What did they do? Could they actually make anything better?_ _

__The door was unlocked, more so than that - it had been left slightly ajar almost as if no one bothered, or cared to close it. Not that they blamed them in the kind of state they were in. Kevin made sure to shut the door behind him, cringing slightly as the sound, although quiet, echoed around the cold silence._ _

__The house, was normally one of the warmest places you could find yourself was a shell of itself. As TSM made there way into the house, into the main lounge they were greeted by the sight of their friends looking like they had no idea what to do, what they were doing and what they could do at this stage._ _

__Vincent made the first move, moving over to the couch, nodding to his fellow support as he sat down beside him. “Hey.”_ _

__“You guys actually came?”_ _

__“Of course, not going to let you all go through this alone.” Vincent sighed, placing a hand on Andy’s shoulder. “Just… let us do whatever we need us to, I know you probably are unsure what that is right now but we’re here to do it.”_ _

__“Thank you I don’t know… we’re all just, floating? I don’t know, we haven’t really spoken about it.” Andy looked around the room, noticing that some of the team weren’t even here, retreating to their rooms to find some kind of explanation of what had happened. His eyes, however fell on one person in particular, sitting alone, on the floor in the corner of the room. “It’s hit Zach the worst, he - he hasn’t even moved.”_ _

__Vincent made a very unsubtle head tilt towards Zach on the ground, watching in relief as Kevin made his way over to the carry. Not many people knew this, but Kevin was probably the kindest person he actually knew, underneath all that smug behaviour was someone the whole team turn to - it was fitting that he was the one heading to Zach. If anyone could find the right thing to say it would be him._ _

__Zach didn’t even flinch or make any indication that Kevin had sat down beside him. He continued to stare straight ahead, his eyes red rimmed, his chin resting on his pulled up knees. The only sign of life in him was the small sharp breaths in between the small sniffs and hiccups as he attempted to stop crying._ _

__“There’s nothing I can say, do - nothing at this time that’s going to make you feel better. And I really hate that, that there’s just nothing - I have to sit here and watch you go through all this - all of you. But I have to, I have to tell you one thing - Zach, you can’t, you can’t try to stop it - it just doesn’t work.”_ _

__He flinched slightly at this, turning his head to look at Kevin, a burning question in his eyes. “Why? What does it accomplish, me sitting here - fucking destroyed isn’t enough, I have to cry as well? It’s not like it will bring him back, it’s not like it will make it any better - I don’t get anything out of it, I don’t get to be okay…”_ _

__“I know, but in one, five - ten years, you want to remember him without this burning pain and hate in your chest. Something that will build up if you just bottle it all up…”_ _

__“I can’t, I can’t let go because I don’t know if I will be able to stop if I do….”_ _

__“That’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.”_ _

__There was a subdued silence between them, the air thick with grief and turmoil. It took awhile, minutes had quickly snuck past like they were nothing but slowly, softly, Zach moved ever so closer to Kevin - shivering slightly as their arms touched._ _

__“You know what the worst part is, if that’s even a right thing to say.” With every word Zach leaned closer and closer to the top laner, his words choking and stuttering more and more with tears._ _

__“I never - I… never got to tell him how… how I feel.”_ _

__It was all that needed to be said as the mask broke and the floodgates opened._ _

__Kevin found himself with Zach basically in his lap, arms wrapped tightly around the smaller brunette as he cried bitterly into his shoulder. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. So he just held him, he just ran fingers through his hair and he just let him be. He just let him cry._ _

#### Day One - One PM

__“You don’t have anything more direct?” Jensen tried to hide his yawn as he consulted with the ticket agent. In his hand he held not the one, but three tickets. A flight to Vancouver, and then Vancouver to New York, and then a long bus ride across states to get back home. It was a bit of a joke really, but Jensen was way too tired and frustrated for a joke._ _

__“I’m sorry sir, all direct flights have been cancelled due to a… flight path change.”_ _

__He wasn’t been told all the information, he knew that much - and he kind of hated it. But then, being too tired for jokes also meant that he was too tired to argue. He should have been home by now, he should be with his team, his family, his friends._ _

__“You’re not making me pay for any of this - are you?”_ _

__“No Sir, of course not - we will pay for this mistake and make sure you arrive home safely.”_ _

__The way she said safely didn’t really sit well with Jensen, the way she was flustered and kept looking back and forth, hoping he wouldn’t ask her any questions. He didn’t want to make her feel miserable, she was after all doing her job - and anything had happened behind the scenes to get him here it wasn’t like it was her fault._ _

__“Okay, thank you - when do I first leave.”_ _

__“You flight leaves later on this afternoon. You will depart at 4pm, and arrive at Toronto roughly twelve hours later.”_ _

__“Right.” Jensen consulted his tickets. “Then six am for the connecting flight and then the bus.”_ _

__“Yes Sir, I am sorry we could not get you one any quicker flights, we are very full this time of year.”_ _

__“It’s okay - I’m sorry if I seem angry, I just want to get home.”_ _

__“Understandable Sir, if you make your way over to the lounge we will happily provide a lunch for you and a space to relax before your flight.”_ _

__“Thank you.”_ _

__With a deep sigh Jensen made his way over to the lounge indicated by the attendant, staring at his phone and hitting it on the back in attempt to get it to work.Nothing - all Jensen got was a black screen and a small vibrate in an attempt at working. Looks like he would just have to wait to get home to see his friends._ _

__At least they knew he was safe and on his way, he was glad he had managed to get that final text out to Zach before his phone had decided to do… whatever this was. Jensen just had no idea that the text never got to Zach, he had no idea that right now, they thought he was the exact opposite of safe._ _

#### Day One - Three PM

____

“I finally got Zach asleep, although I doubt he will stay that way for much longer - and he’ll probably freak out when he wakes up so someone should keep an eye on him.”

“I’ll do it - you already have done enough Kevin, you should have some rest yourself.”

“You, shouldn’t you be having some time to yourself for this?”

Soren cringed, Kevin may have been right about that but he couldn't let that happen. He said he would be here for his friends and that is exactly what he would do. There was no point in breaking down now and cracking. He had to wait, maybe in a few days - maybe when he was alone and not around anyone else who was broken.

He didn’t want to add to their distress and pain - they already had enough.

Besides, all what Soren really wanted to do right now was scream in Danish, and that wasn’t helpful to anyone. He was pretty sure it wouldn’t even be helpful to him but at this point he didn’t really care, at this point yelling and screaming was all he wanted to do. After he was away from them of course.

“What’s all this?”

The team all turned at the same time, perfectly in sync at Jack’s question as he walked into the kitchen.

“Ah food?” Peter replied with a small tilt of his head. “We know you guys are horrible at this at the best of times so we thought getting food ready and preparing meals would be a good thing. You have to eat, don’t think we didn’t notice you all skipped lunch.”

“But - but there was no food in the… you brought all this?”

“Don’t think anything of it - we want to help. And this is one of the smaller ways we can do so.”

Jack just continued to stare at the team in shock, not really sure what to say back. A small part of him had kind of expected something like this, but not of this magnitude, and not by all of them. He was astonished at how much they were willing to help, then again, sometimes Jack let the whole rivalry thing get to him. With how much it was all pushed and published it was easy to forget that they were all friends.

“You need to stop questioning that we're here, or why we are here.” 

Soren grabbed a plate of food ready and made his way away from the kitchen and towards Zach’s room. He carefully made his way in and decided to take a seat on the floor, his back leaning against the wall the furthest away from the bed to give Zach some room.

“I don’t have to be baby sitted you know, it’s not like I’m going to do anything stupid.”

“I thought you were asleep.”

“I am very good at pretending when I need to.”

Soren bit his lip. “Do you want to be left alone?”

“I - I don’t know, a part of me does, but then - a part of me want someone here, just in case-” Zach sighed, pulling himself up and leaning against the back of the bed, his eyes looking anywhere but Soren. “It hurts too much to think about him, but then - I don’t want to stop, I don’t want to cut it all out. I don’t know if that make sense.”

“It does - I feel the same way.”

Zach finally looked over at him, his eyes questioning, searching. Soren stared back, the and Zach wondered if he looked just as tired as Soren did - maybe more? Maybe it would be good if he did stay, not just for Zach, but for both of them.

“Could - Could you stay, I mean, you don’t have to but I would really appreciate it.”

“Okay then, I’m not going anywhere.”

A silence fell over the two of them, Soren closing his eyes and resting his head back onto the wall. It wasn’t long before shuffling was heard and Zach made his way over to him, sliding down the wall beside him and silently beginning to nibble on the food that had been brought in.

“It’s really… nice of you all to come - I mean especially seeming we didn’t tell anyone.”

“Vincent saw it on the news this morning, I figured it out.” Soren took a deep breath. “I… both Dennis and I flew home with the same airline, only a few days before...”

“I - that’s…” Zach stopped, somehow his grief just paused for moment as he stared at Soren. Surely he was hurting too, yet here he was - stoic, strong for them - for him. “How are you doing?”

“Ha - we’ll worry about me later.”

“But-”

“Me screaming Danish isn’t going to help anyone Sneaks.”

“It will help you…”

With a small grin, Soren shifted, moving so that he and Zach were side by side. Zach taking the hint and snuggling into the mid lander, letting Soren wrap an arm around him. “Maybe, it will probably just make it worse… but I’d rather that than…”

“Than holding it in and letting it destroy you.”

Soren laughed, shaking his head, “Something like that.”

____

#### Day One - Six PM

__Juan ignored the knock on the door, even the sound of it opening as he continued to lay on his bed, his eyes screwed up shut as tight as he could as his thoughts flew quickly through his mind. He didn’t want to see anyone, he didn’t want to talk to anyone- he didn’t want to do anything but sit here - try to forget everything and just let the darkness of his room encase him. Apparently, someone didn’t want him to do that however - and as much as Juan knew they meant well, right now - He. Just. Couldn't. Cope._ _

__He felt the bed move underneath him and tried his best not to move, maybe he could convince whoever it was that he was asleep, maybe if he didn’t say anything they wouldn’t either. Maybe if he didn’t move they would just leave him alone to lay here in darkness, to do nothing - to feel nothing._ _

__“I’m not leaving until you come and eat something Mister - everyone else has gathered in the lounge… even Zach’s out there.”_ _

__Zach, no. No he didn’t need to be reminded about how shattered his friend was, how heartbroken and destroyed he was. No, Zach had kind of been like a big brother to him ever since he joined, he couldn't see him so distraught. Zach was supposed to be the strong steady one. It was wrong, all so wrong…_ _

__“You don’t have to talk to anyone, or even look at anyone - you just… have to come out Juan - you have to feel.”_ _

__That snapped something in him._ _

__“No, no I fucking don’t need to feel, I don’t need… I…”_ _

__“But you’re angry - that’s a feeling right there.”_ _

__Juan made a face at this, finally opening his eyes and pushing himself into a sitting position to face the person who was sitting on his bed. The nineteen year old made a face at the TSM AD carry sitting on his bed, looking at him with a deep set concern._ _

__“If I go out will you stop looking at me like that.”_ _

__“Depends, will you actually eat something?”_ _

__Juan just rolled his eyes at Peter, who decided not to take any of the younger players anger and annoyance personally. He couldn’t really blame him, Peter was also the kind of person that would hide behind anger, which really, meant he wasn't the best person to lecture him about this - but he was all the kid got._ _

__“Come on, I know you guys hate hearing it, but you can’t just, not feel - and you especially can’t not eat.”_ _

__“Can you please stop making sense, it makes being angry at you harder.”_ _

__Peter laughed, reaching out and hitting the jungler softly on the shoulder. “Come on - you guys need to do this as a team, and that can’t happen when you’re moping in here - go mope out there instead.”_ _

__Juan sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I can’t just sit in here and pretend it didn’t happen?”_ _

__Peter would never admit it to anyone, but at that moment a small piece of his heart cracked._ _

__“No, I’m afraid you can’t.”_ _

#### Day One - Eleven PM

__“Why did you leave me, why didn’t you come back like you said you would - look what happened!”_ _

__All what Jensen could do was stare, not even sure if his voice could be found to answer the brunette. He had ran towards Zach as soon as he saw him - and he couldn’t stop it, in fact it was like he was running and he wasn’t going anywhere - like running on the spot._ _

__“Why the hell weren’t you here - answer me!”_ _

__“Zach I-”_ _

__Reaching out a hand even took a large amount of effort, his muscles pulled and screamed at him and his head seemed to burst in pain. But he couldn’t stop, he had to keep going - Zach needed him, he was in pain and he needed him._ _

__“Why weren’t you here?”_ _

__The angry Zach was suddenly replaced by a terrified one, a defeated one, sitting on his knees, surrounding by the darkness that Jensen hadn’t realized had descended on them. The brunette just looked up at Jensen, tear stained eyes as he shook his head._ _

__“Why did you leave me?”_ _

__“I didn’t, I couldn’t Zach … Zach!”_ _

__Jensen gave a cry of shock, reaching forward and grasping thin as air as he sat bolt upright, almost falling off the chair and into the aisle. For a horrible few seconds he didn’t even remember where he was. Fear gripping him - breaths coming in deep gasps it took a kind and soft word from one of the other passengers to calm him down._ _

__“Hey - are you alright, that didn’t look like a very pleasant dream.”_ _

__“Dream, yes I, I… I left him and I, no… I’m heading home.” Jensen shook his head trying his best to rid the cobwebs in this mind, the blurring thoughts of the dream and reality. “That just felt so… real.”_ _

__“Must be someone you care very deeply for, were you away for long?”_ _

__The calming voice of the other passenger was helping Jensen cement himself in reality._ _

__“I didn’t think it was long, but I guess my subconscious thought otherwise.”_ _

__“Subconscious huh? Is that what you kids are calling it these days when you don’t want to admit it.” The comment was accompanied by a small chuckle and the offer of a glass of water to the still shaking Jensen. “You should drink and eat something, you slept through the dinner - we’ll be arriving soon.”_ _

__“Thank you - I will be glad to be that one step closer to home.”_ _

__He couldn't understand why his heart was suddenly beating so fast. Then again, maybe he could, and maybe he just didn’t want to admit it. He had squashed down those feelings a long, long time ago and he had no plans on bringing them up again. If every admit at flirting lead to nowhere there was just no point anymore, he was tired of trying. Still, the feelings and butterflies bubbled and they sat on the surface and they mixed with utter horror of what his tired brain had come up with._ _

__All he wanted right now was to be home with the people he cared about the most._ _

#### Day Three - Nine AM

__He sunk into the couch, a large, tired, sigh escaping his lips as he draped his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes. Maybe if he stayed like this everything would just rewind and go back to normal. And there would be no pain and horror and no deep seated anger that filled him as he thought of what had happened. But in all honesty he wasn’t actually angry he was just horrified, and sad, really, really sad._ _

__“What happened to locking yourself in a room and screaming swear words only one of us can understand?”_ _

__“Suddenly that seems like too much effort.” Soren opened his eyes to see his whole team staring down at him, he wondered if he looked as tired as they all did. “Besides, doing things was easier, it meant you didn’t have to think - thinking makes it worse.”_ _

__“Aren’t we all just hypotrics, there were telling them that they had to think and here we are…” Dennis shook his head, said something in Danish that made Soren laugh dryly as the jungler joined his mid laner on the couch. “So we are just going to sit here awhile?”_ _

__“That’s the plan - they’re good there now, we, we can be here.”_ _

__It was true, about half way through yesterday the door had been flown open and the whole of Flyquest plus a few others from the LCS had came barreling through the door. Liam especially had been set on taking charge, he had demanded why no one had told him or anyone else that use to be on the team, announced that he would be there for his family and had proceeded to take charge._ _

__It was the bot lane of CLG that had walked in on the whole of TSM running around in the kitchen that had told them to go home and get some rest, to leave it to them - to pass it on. The team had basically been pushed out the door, but not before receiving a large thank you hugs from C9. There had been a lot of tears and a lot of chaos, everything had happened so quickly._ _

__But now it was quiet - now it was nothing, and they had all the time in the world to think. To ponder, to feel._ _

#### Day Three - Twelve PM

__“I’m sorry I, I’ve been super clingy and surrounded by everyone since… since it happened and I - just want to be alone, for awhile. Please, it’s going to happen eventually, I just need to think without someone staring at me waiting for me to break down…”_ _

__“We don’t mean for you to feel like that Zach…”_ _

__“I know, it’s just - I need some space.”_ _

__Liam gave Zach one last hug, smiling softly as he did so. “You’ve changed a lot you know - you’ve grown. When I left the team, back then, you wouldn’t have had the strength to do this - now you do.”_ _

__Zach shook his head as he pulled out of the hug. “That…. That was all him.”_ _

__With a small nod in understanding Liam left his ex team mate alone in his room, making sure to close to the door behind him to give the privacy that Zach had requested. The grief had hit Zach hard and fast and now he was trying to go through the stages faster, Liam knew he had to let him be - but it still hurt._ _

__Alone for the first time since they had returned from the airport Zach tried to push back the horrible feeling of being suffocated as he stood in his room, taking deep, calming breaths as he closed his eyes. So many days like this were to come, so many times he will have to be strong by himself. He could do this, he had to do this._ _

__“How, how do I do this - where do I start.” Slumping onto his bed Zach ran a hand through his hair and gave a small chuckle. “It was always you, that had the plans and answers, I know I never said it or mentioned it - but I followed your lead… and I always worried when you followed mine.”_ _

__Zach chuckled slightly although it sounded hollow in the empty room. “And now you have me talking to myself, well you always said I was crazy… God I miss you, I mean I missed you as soon as you left but now… now all I have is a horrid feeling of never getting to see you. Now the missing will never go away…”_ _

__He got to his feet and began to pace around his room. His eyes always quickly glancing over the wall near his computer, something that was never shown on stream was the photo wall that Zach had created over the past few years. He didn’t care to admit that they mainly consisted of Jensen._ _

__“I’ve never been a believer in these kind of things - with people being able to hear you, with them being with you…. But I have to now, I have to otherwise I won’t survive. I have to believe that wherever you are, whatever happened, you can hear me - and… and you're missing me just as much as I’m missing you.”_ _

__Zach stopped, finally turning towards his photo’s he took a deep breath and walked over to them, his eyes finding as many pictures of his smile as he could. His heart tore and sung at the same time, he would have to get used to that - it was a weird feeling._ _

__“I’m sorry, I never had the courage to admit it to you - but I loved you… I love you - and I’m going to struggle to do this without you but I… I guess I’ll try, for you - if you give me the strength.”_ _

#### Day Three - Four PM

__Jensen groaned as the whole bus jumped slightly in the air, hitting a pothole in the middle of the road. He was tried, hungry and getting just that little irritable. He felt like he hadn’t rested in days, he felt sticky and sweaty, and he felt like just the smallest thing would set him off. He had deliberately sat away from any over customers on the bus - not wanting to snap at someone for something as simple as talking to him._ _

__The only people he wanted to talk to right now were his team - and even them maybe after a good sleep and a nice hot shower. The midlaner hated it when he got like this, he had such a short fuse when he was tired and it had blown up with unsuspecting people before. Sleep was the only cure and that was not an option with this stupid bus and the stupid bumpy road and the stupid sticky warmness of a bus with no windows and broken AC._ _

__The bus jumped again and Jensen let out a loud murmur of curse words in Danish - he tried to ignore the way people turned to look at him in confusion, and the one small chuckle of laughter from someone up the front that had obviously understood him._ _

__He just closed his eyes, trying his best to push away any angry thoughts and focus on the fact that he was almost, almost, home. He was so close to finally seeing his friends, his family. And finally, he would stop having these stupid thoughts and daydreams. Ever since he had fallen asleep on the plane he had visions of such occurrences while awake as well._ _

__His stupid heart and emotions were really going at it - and he hated that he couldn’t control it. Every Time he closed his eyes in an attempt to get some sort of semblance of rest visions instead would appear, different scenarios of the horrid dream he had - flashbacks to all the times he had tried to show his feelings._ _

__Awhile ago he had resigned to the fact that Zach and him weren’t going to happy - there was no way. He had given up, let it passed, and continued to flirt (because it was just so natural) without expecting anything in return. And yet, ever since he had missed his plane his whole resolve had broken, it was like that decision he had made never existed - like he suddenly thought he had a chance again._ _

__It was stupid to even think about - and Jensen was looking forward to getting back, fitting back into the same routine with Zach and reminding his feelings and heart that there was no chance. The quicker he reminded himself it was a pipe dream and he should stop waiting the better._ _

__Ruining what they already had wasn’t worth it._ _

#### Day Three - Six PM

__There was just a small inkling of concern as Jack made his way through the house trying to find any indication of where his team was. Everyone else had left a while ago, apparently the team had dismissed them all, thankful for the help but ready to have a little bit of alone time. He was proud of them for making that step but he was also concerned about the fact that he couldn’t find them._ _

__The house was dark, from the lounge to the kitchen to the scrim and game room - there wasn’t any sign of the team. Not until eh saw the light coming from Zach’s room - and the small sound of something that he didn’t think he would ever hear from the long standing member for a long time - laughter._ _

__Jack silently poked his head around the corner of Zach’s room and a small smile formed on his face at the sight of the whole team squashed on the AD’s bed - surrounded by photographs and pieces of paper._ _

__“What is wrong with your face?”_ _

__“Ouch, Impact man - cold.” Zach hit his top laner hard on the shoulder, pouting as he held out a photo that he didn’t even remember taking. It was a group one, and to be honest, Impact had made a good point - Sneaky had attempted a cheeky grin - it looked more like he was hiding a pretty dark secret. “At Least I tried to smile, unlike you who just sits there with no emotion.”_ _

__The top laner gave him a small hit back. “I’d rather have no emotion than look like an idiot.” It was him that looked up and noticed Jack grinning at them from the doorway. “What are you looking at?”_ _

__“I just-” Jack held up his hands and walked in, his heart kind of glowing as he saw the way that Juan and Andy were happily looking through official photo’s of the team from last years split - talking quickly at remembering the game. “I’m just really happy to see you guys… together.”_ _

__“We realized something.” Andy commented as the rest of the team nodded in agreement._ _

__“Oh.”_ _

__“He would hate the fact that we stopped being together.”_ _

__“He’ll call us all idiots for crying so much, I mean - we all know his view on it.”_ _

__“And…” Zach blushed, a small smile on his face. “He’ll want us to laugh, and to be happy… so, we’re trying.”_ _

__Jack grinned, plopping himself down by Zach and picking up one of the photo’s. “Yeah you are.”_ _

__It wasn’t perfect, because it was still a little forced - but it was something - it was a start._ _

#### Day Three - Nine PM

__Jensen stumbled into the front door with a small curse and a confused mutter as he fumbled around for the light switch, Since when were any members of his team in bed at this hour, it was unheard of, surely they would still be up gaming - but it was very rare that at least one of them weren’t in the main lounge at this point. The house looked dead, unused, and it caused Jensen to shiver slightly - something was wrong._ _

__“Hello - guys?” Jensen threw his rather useless phone on the couch and dropped his bag unceremoniously on the ground as he walked further into the lounge, flicking on lights as he went. “Seriously, where is everyone, since when did we actually all listen to Jack and get some decent sleep - geez.”_ _

__The room looked like it hadn’t been used in days, nothing sat on the table in the middle of the room, gone where the numerous hoodies and jackets that could be normally found thrown over the furniture, no dishes, no books or personal items -it was really starting to freak him out._ _

__Jensen was moments away from storming into one of their rooms, just to make sure that they were actually home, when the sound of someone walking caught his attention. The light was suddenly flicked on in the hallway leading up to the main gaming room and Jensen turned to find himself face to face with Andy._ _

__“There you are - I was thinking you guys had all disappeared or something I… what’s wrong?”_ _

__Andy’s eyes had gone wide, his face completely pale and his whole body began to shake. The drink he was holding fell out of his hand and crashed to the floor, the glass shattering and the contents spilling all over his feet. He didn't seem to care, he just continued to stare at Jensen in complete shock._ _

__“Jensen what, how….is that really you?”_ _

__Jensen had never heard Andy sound so scared, and his worry increased._ _

__“Of course it’s me, come on man why are you looking at me as if you think I don’t exist or something.”_ _

__Andy just shook his head, instead of answering the question he turned around slightly and yelled down the  
corridor, basically screaming that everyone needed to come now._ _

__“Andy’s what’s going on, you know screaming is not-” Zach’s sentence trailed off into a loud gasp and a simple whimper of pain as the support indicated to the person standing in their living room. Zach just stared, his eyes watering, his whole body shaking as Jensen stared back, utterly confused. “Nicolaj?”_ _

__“Hey, hey Sneaks - it’s me why are you-” Jensen’s voice trailed off as he suddenly found himself being tackled by Zach. The hug almost knocked him off his feet, the grip that Zach now had on him was the tightest he had ever had from his friend. Shocked more than anything at the close contact the mid laner placed a hand on top of Zach’s head, trying his best to comfort the obviously distressed carry. “Hey, what’s brought this on, I’m okay, I got home a little late but I thought you wouldn’t mind, I-”_ _

__“You’re real, you’re here, I can’t believe, you’re alive…”_ _

__“Of course I am - didn’t you get my text, my flight was oversold and I got delayed I….” Jensen frowned, looking up from the shaking and sobbing Zach to the rest of the team who had all slowly made their way into the room, each looking just as shocked as the next. “No one got my text, did they?”_ _

__“We thought you were on that flight, we were told you were on that flight and…” Juan’s voice was quiet, stuttering through the words that reminded Jensen of the time when he first joined the team. When he was unsure if he belonged, when he was scared and timid. It completely broke him, he hated it._ _

__The youngest member of the team also moved forward, joining in on the hug and wrapping his arms tightly around Jensen as well. Zach made a happy kind of sound, shifting so that his team mate could do so in a way that was not awkward or uncomfortable._ _

__Usually Jensen would have pushed them all of and made some kind of joke about personal space, but not this time, no this time was different - something had happened. He searched the faces of his team, trying to figure out what exactly that was, what they weren’t telling him. In the end it was Impact that said it, his words blunt, shattering - breaking Jensen to the very core._ _

__“It crashed, your plane - they told us you had died.”_ _

__The words echoed around Jensen’s skull, vibrating and painful. Died? They had thought he was dead, they had been told that he was on that plane and… no wonder Andy had looked at him if he wasn’t real._ _

__“Well…. Well what are you all doing over there then?”_ _

__The choked out words from Jensen were all the rest of them needed to rush forward and join the hug, pressing themselves as close as possible to the midlander. Jensen shuffled slightly, toppling with the weight of his team they all dropped down onto the couch. Jensen squashed into the middle of his relieved team._ _

__“I’m sorry.” He whispered, letting them burrow themselves into him as much as possible, “I am so, so sorry.”_ _

#### Day Three - Twelve AM

__He was woken from his sleep from a large movement from the group, as well as a bright light that suddenly filled his eyes. He had fallen asleep almost immediately after being smothered by his teammates, having gotten absolutely no sleep on the plane or the bus._ _

__“What in the world are you doing?”_ _

__“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you, I just thought everyone else would be keen to know your not dead.” Andy gave Jensen a small smile, the movement of him untangling his arms from the mid laner was the movement that caused Jensen to stir. “You know, they might want to know.”_ _

__“Everyone else?”_ _

__“Yeah, what you think they didn’t notice, dude if TSM hadn’t turned up here that morning I don’t think we would have made it through - they even cooked for us.”_ _

__Jensen laughed at this, you know something’s gone down when an LCS pro willingly cooks. “Oh - and what are you going to say, it’s not something easily said by text.”_ _

__“I was thinking of ‘BTW Jensen’s not dead, airlines are stupid.’”_ _

__This caused Jensen to laugh again, causing a murmur from the pile of C9 teammates around him. “And you don’t think that would cause some questions? They’ll probably want more than that.”_ _

__“Nah, they’ll probably come storming over here to make sure I haven’t gone insane.” Andy smiled softly sending the text quickly before throwing his phone back on the seat across from them. Sliding back into his position beside Jensen, somehow managing to squeeze back behind Juan to find himself shoulder to shoulder with his mid laner. Sighing softly, Andy closed his eyes, muttering quietly, “I’m really glad you’re here Yensen.”_ _

__“Me too Ands, me too.” He paused, biting his lip and shifting slightly. “So many people, that plane - I guess I’m only here because of pure dumb luck…”_ _

__“Jensen….”_ _

__“I, don’t get me wrong, I am glad to be here - but there are so many people who didn’t - I don’t know how to be happy about that. You guys, that pain, you felt - so many people are going to be feeling that - forever...”_ _

__“Maybe happy is not the right word,I understand that. We can be grateful, not for what happen - but for you.”_ _

__Jensen just sighed, nodding slightly, letting his head fall to his supports shoulder. “Maybe, I just - I think I don’t really know what to think about it yet.” He paused, his hands freezing as he realized he was running his fingers through Zach’s hair. “I had a lot to lose, and so did everyone else.”_ _

___‘My thoughts and prayers are with the families and friends that lost loved ones this week on DN72. I was almost one of them and although I know I can’t stop the pain, I will help and do all I can. If you can donate please do so.’_ _ _

___‘All donations and proceeds from streams in the next two months will go to the families of DN72. Show love to those that have lost.’ ____ _

#### Day Seven - Eight PM

____Things were somewhat back to normal. Well as much as normal as there lives could be after what had happened. Finally everyone that needed to be aware was aware, everyone that wanted to say something had said something, and things had finally slowed down. Emotions had decreased slightly, the fear and pain had disappeared be be nothing by horrible memory that none of them really wanted to look back on._ _ _ _

____Once again the house had returned to it’s normal bright place, welcoming to anyone, with a sense of happiness and a little bit craziness at the same time. The type of feeling and atmosphere that they had all come to know from the C9 had returned and was contagious to everyone that had made their way into the house for the start of split party. The house was full of smiles, just as it should be._ _ _ _

____“You guys have always known how to throw a party.”_ _ _ _

____“Mmm well we might as well have a good time and spend as much time as friends before we have to go back to being rivals you know.” Zach laughed, using air quotes at ‘rivals’ causing the TSM top laner to laugh. “You know, when we then go and hate each other.”_ _ _ _

____“Good times.” Kevin accepted the drink that Zach offered him, taking a sip he grinned and decided to change the subject. “So, have you told him yet?”_ _ _ _

____“Uh, what?’_ _ _ _

____“You know, how you spent three hours crying in my arms saying how you didn’t get to tell him…”_ _ _ _

____“Oh.” Zach turned a very bright red. “That thing. I, no not yet I don’t think I know how to, when to…”_ _ _ _

____“I’m surprised you didn’t straight away. Not many,” Kevin chuckled, shaking his head. “Not many people get a second chance in these kind of things Zach. What’s stopping you, the happiness, the atmosphere - they fucking way he smiles at you.”_ _ _ _

____“Why do you keep coming back to that?”_ _ _ _

____“Cause Sneaks, if someone smiled at me like that - I would never let them go.” Kevin just patted Zach on the shoulder as he made his way back into the throng of people in the C9’s house lounge. He couldn’t help but make a very unstable point towards Jensen, who was trying his best not to get to much into the throng of people._ _ _ _

____Zach’s blush was permanent as he shuffled slightly on his feet. He had been thinking about it, almost every time he had spent time with Jensen in the last few days he had thought of blurting it out. But he never had the courage, he never knew exactly what to say. He just couldn’t cope, he don’t know what he would do if Jensen didn’t love him back._ _ _ _

____Love - it was weird to admit it, even in his head but he actually did love him._ _ _ _

____And if he loved Jensen, didn’t Jensen deserve to know?_ _ _ _

____He slowly made his way over to Jensen, nodding and saying quick hello’s to everyone as they called out to him. It seemed like everyone wanted to chat. Zach soon made enough moves to at least get in talking distance of Jensen. He resisted the very large urge to reach out and just cling to him._ _ _ _

____“Hey Jensen, not too many people corralling you I hope?”_ _ _ _

____“I haven’t stopped talking to people, I know they all mean well and I am very flattered about what they are saying and why. It’s just a little tiring - and loud.”_ _ _ _

____Zach could see his opportunity, almost like he was a bright flashing neon sign above Jensen’s head. “Do you want to step outside a bit for some fresh air and space, I was feeling the need for a little break myself.”_ _ _ _

____Jensen grinned, and Zach resisted the urge to squeal in delight as it was actually the mid laner that took the initiative, leaning over and taking hold of Zach’s hand. “Yeah I would like that - lead the way.” He moved with Zach away from the party and the crowd, the two of them making their way outside into the small deck and yard that connected to the lounge._ _ _ _

____As soon as they were outside Jensen took a deep breath, his whole body seeming to just relax. “Wow, I didn’t realize how tense I was in there - I hate these kind of things at the best of times, but it’s just - weirder.”_ _ _ _

____“All you want to do is just crawl into bed right now yeah?”_ _ _ _

____“Ah sleep, it would be nice.” The smile returned to Jensen’s face as he turned to look at Zach, noticing immediately that the brunette looked, if he had to put it in a word, nervous. That and he was blushing._ _ _ _

____“Zach are you… okay?”_ _ _ _

____“I ah, I wanted to come and talk to you, well I’ve been wanting to talk to you for awhile.”_ _ _ _

____“I feel like we’ve talked nonstop Zach.”_ _ _ _

____“I know, I’m sorry I’ve been a little clingy, and we have and it’s been great it’s just, not about this.”_ _ _ _

____Jensen frowned, stepping back a few paces to give Zach his space. “What’s wrong?”_ _ _ _

____“I thought I had lost you - that’s what’s wrong.”_ _ _ _

____Might as well get straight to the point, get it all out - like a bandaid, nice and simple._ _ _ _

____“Zach, we’ve already-”_ _ _ _

____“No, I - I need to say this. I thought I had lost you and I, I admitted in that moment how I feel and I-” Zach took a deep breath, he couldn’t do this, not with Jensen looking at him in confusion, in the way that made Zach feel like he was staring right into him. He turned his back, the words flying out of his mouth quicker than he thought they ever could._ _ _ _

____“I was a mess you know, I ended up crying for about three hours straight with Kevin because he said some things and he made he realize. I hated it, I was torn inside because I thought I had lost my chance, my chance to admit to you that I cared for you, that you are so much more than a friend that I - I love you. I’m so scared, so horrified that I will wake up and you being here, alive is just some delusion that I’ve made up and I will have to lose you all over again and I - I just don’t think, I can’t deal with…”_ _ _ _

____A steady hand was placed on Zach’s shoulder, the mere touch causing his words to trail off and his breath to hitch in his throat. If Zach had been looking at Jensen right now he would have seen the shock on the midlaners face, the complete and utter drop of the mask and the array of emotions crossing it._ _ _ _

____“I’m not going anywhere Zach, I promise, this is real - you never lost me-”_ _ _ _

____“But, but I might now, now that I-”_ _ _ _

____“No, no you won't.” Jensen moved, keeping the hand on Zach’s shoulder as he walked around to be face to face with him, placing his over hand on Zach’s chin to move it upwards so that he could look him in the eyes. “So, all it took was me dying for you to admit it huh, didn’t think I’d have to go to those lengths. Gosh we are both idiots....”_ _ _ _

____“What, I - I’m serious.”_ _ _ _

____“Me too, do you know how long I’ve been waiting, how long I’ve attempted to push back my feelings and failed miserably...”_ _ _ _

____“Y-you, waiting? That mean’s that you-” Zach blinked as Jensen nodded, slowly, removing the hand on his chin to instead place it on his waist. Zach was suddenly rather dizzy, the good kind. “But if you - why wouldn’t you say anything?”_ _ _ _

____Jensen smiled softly. “I thought I kind of was, you know me - I’m all or nothing - I go hard or I don’t even try. That same drive on the rift kind of also equates to how I relate to people.” Jensen shook his head, giving Zach a small hit on the shoulder. “I thought my flirting was obvious, but apparently not… I had just, resigned myself to that fact that it would never happen… I didn’t want to push you”_ _ _ _

____“I… I, but you still didn’t say anything.” Zach’s voice held a slight whine to it. Here he had been, completely concerned and horrified that Jensen was going to run away after he admitted his feeling, only to find out he had been flirting with him this whole time. Was he now supposed to take all of the the things that Jensen had said during streams and scrims and games as afact? Because if so…. Damn._ _ _ _

____“You’re just working it out now aren’t you?”_ _ _ _

____“You… you have said it.”_ _ _ _

____“Mmhmm, multiple times.”_ _ _ _

____Zach laughed, suddenly feeling a little bit lighter. “Well, now I feel like an idiot.”_ _ _ _

____“You are an idiot - but you’re my idiot, so it’s okay. And I’m an idiot too, for ever giving up on you.” Jensen pulled his arm a little tighter around Zach waist and tugged slightly, grinning as Zach took the hint and walked over to him - closing the distance. “So… you going to do anything with that second chance of yours Sneaks?”_ _ _ _

____He very much intended to do so yes - and he was going to do it right now._ _ _ _

____Zach wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting. Fireworks, heat, music to suddenly explode in his head and for time to stop, he wasn’t really looking for a cliche or to say he had butterflies or to be all cheesy and say that it perfect, that all the puzzle pieces linked together, like the best moment of his life. Zach knew that his life was not a romantic comedy, or a Disney movie with a happily ever after. He wasn’t expecting any of it, yet a small part of him kind of wanted something like that, just something that cemented this for him._ _ _ _

____“Finally...”_ _ _ _

____They way Jensen was looking at him was his reward, and it was enough. Because it was everything._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading - please let me know what you thought <3


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